Saturday, June 25, 2011

Decorating Our Lives to Hide Our Hearts

I shot this photo after an outing at a campground a few weeks ago. I was feeling pretty yuck inside about a few things going on in my life, nothing with my marriage, but other ugly stuff. I stopped to shoot this old vacant house as the sun was setting.

Today it occurred to me that we can be just like this picture. We can put a bunch of pretty stuff, external stuff, up front that people first see. Our clothing, material things, make up and hair- everything that helps us to find that inside of it all we are an abanondoned and vacant building just waiting to crumble to the ground. We hide behind our flowered bushes hoping that nobody notice how broken we are inside. But by hiding it is impossible for anyone to know that we are in MAJOR need of TLC and repair. They don't see past the externals to see us crying out for help in the inside. It reminded me of my time "away" where I didn't live in my life and was more miserable than I'd ever been, but externally looked happy and healthy. No one had any clue.

So maybe it is time to trim your bushes back and to let yourself be a little naked and tell people when you need a little comfort and compassion, otherwise they may never know and we'll continue being this empty house.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Constant Vigelance!

The cry of Mad Eye Moody to never let your guard down is one of my favorite little quotes to say. When fighting darkness and evil you must always be on your guard, ready to fight, expect the unexpected. But I think it rings true for those us who stayed married and are survivors of an affair-the ones that feel like we're mostly happy but, as all things do, things crop up and bring us down. Bring our marriage down, distract us from one another.

Husband and I have been crabbing lately, though by his account I'm the one crabbing. But hey, I haven't slept a full night in 18 months (thanks to a beautiful little girl) and I'm tired. And being sleep deprived makes you pretty crazy. I need to work on her sleep, but first I needed to work on our marriage. Because, even though we survived the unsurvivable- we can still harm our relationship and still get lost to each other.

I think those of us who survived and came out happier in our relationship take for granted that marriage can take so much work. Because, dude- we survived! If we survived that, what could harm us? But that is false security. Constant Vigilance my friends! We must still always be cognoscente of our feelings, of being honest and open, of admitting our wrongs and working to make things right and of just taking the time to stop, look at each other and work through the kinks that arise. Failure to do so... well, lets just say lets not even let that happen.

So- there you go. I haven't blogged in awhile but just wanted to remind you all not to stop working on your marriage, on yourself - don't get comfortable and let your guard down or else you might find yourself one unhappy muggle.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I'm on Facebook

You can now find me on facebook :) When I get a little more time I'll try to find a widget to make it look pretty- but for now here I am.
FIND ME ON FACEBOOK!


Also - I have set up a SECRET facebook group. Facebook defines a secret group as: Secret: These groups cannot be found in searches, and non-members can’t see anything about the group, including its name and membership list. The name of the group will not display on the profiles of members.

Secret Surviving Group
If you want to join I