1. intended to entrap or beguile: an insidious plan.
2. stealthily treacherous or deceitful: an insidious enemy.
3. operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect: an insidious disease.
That is perfect for what can happen when you think you're protected by distance, anonomity and a computer screen. You are free to be anything you want, to pretend anyone you want... but even more...to be yourself.
When you connect with people online, you have a safe way to open your life to them without worry that they will expose your dark secrets. Without having to look them in the face when you give them pieces of you. However, as you intimately share yourself and your life with someone other than your spouse, it can very quickly become emotional.
And even worse, as you find yourself walking down the twisted web of internet relationship, you get closer and closer to making the surreal become real. Its a slippery slope. First innocent chatting, then secret sharing and heartfelt conversations, then not so innocent chatting, then you might progress to cyber sex or pictures or phone sex and before you know it, you find yourself in a sleezy motel between here and South Dakota to meet this "person" you are so in love with.
And you don't even see it coming! You say "Omg, he lives 400 miles away from me. And its just pretend sex, its not real. Its not like we're actually doing it." but you are. And that is how it is insidious. It gives you a false sense of safety. But I warn you all, you are not safe. You can get pulled in and sucked under and be tangled and drowning in the weeds before you even realize you fell off the boat.
I'm just saying...
I thought this picture was interesting...lets pretend "Brad" is your spouse, your therapist or a trusted friend who can talk sense into you. Reach out to help-even if you don't want to. Listen to the little voice screaming in your head and tell someone to help you before you fall off the boat.
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2 comments:
This is so very true. It's insidious and it happens so quickly. Before you know it you don't even recognize yourself and you are doing things that you normally would absolutely shun in anyone else. You leave your family and become obsessed with this other person. When it ends you are absolutely disillusioned and devestated. I am getting slowly better every day. I will never do anything like this again.
Hi Jane, sorry it took so long for me to post this. Life has been so busy and hectic. I hope you continue to heal, it really is a process. Each day, month, year that passes it grows easier.
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