Driven to Distraction

The weekends alone. The nights alone. That is what where I got into trouble. Well, I was in serious trouble way before that. Obviously. I guess the times alone gave me the opportunity to get distracted by the Other.

But I think we had become distracted way before. Distracted from our marriage and from ourselves.

This world is full of so many distractions that its easy to lose sight of what is going on around you. I'm reminded of the movie Wall-E, the people were driven around in their chairs, TV's and Phones in their face blocking out the world around them. When two of these people suddenly found themselves without their screen they were amazed at the things they hadn't noticed about their world.

Living life like that, you might not notice as your world crumbles around you. Suddenly you find yourself sitting in your underwear amongst the rubble.

I think our society is like that. We put a computer, TV, Movies, book, sports, work and children in front of our face 90% or more of the time. Anything to distract us from reality. I think for a lot of men it is their job and a lot of women, it is their children.

Often both people in a relationship get so lost in the tasks of the day that they lose themselves and each other. I know that, as I lived in my marriage and my relationship, I stopped doing the things I loved. I stopped writing, taking pictures and the theater. How I loved the theater. Those were things that excited me.

When you let the things that excite you get lost, then no wonder how easy it is to get addicted to the excitement you feel in a new and taboo relationship. That sounds disgusting to me... I was not after excitement. I plan to go more into what I got from the Other, but that will be another day.

But I think what is important, especially for women, is to take time for you. Do some things for you, things that you like, that build you up. Paying attention to yourself is so important.

And pay attention to each other. Marriage is hard, staying connected is hard, having a happy healthy marriage takes deliberate action. So go look at your spouse/partner today and really connect with them. And keep on connecting.