Letter to Husband 9/22/07

I found this today. Thought I'd share it. This is 4 days after the discovery, 3 days after I fell in love with him.


Dear Husband,

Occasionally fear will grip me, mostly its the fear of what I have done will come crashing in on me. I've always thought of myself as so good and moral and in the right... I don't know how I'm going to deal with the full impact of the wrongness when it its me.

I don't know what happened or why, all I know is that I felt a haze lift and my eyes were opened and suddenly I saw you for who you were. I suddenly loved you fully and truly as you always deserved. Its like looking at you with completely different eyes. I see you strong and I feel safe with you.

You are taking care of me simply by still loving me. And I know you can feel the difference too. The difference in me and my feelings.

I'm sorry that the mornings crash in on you and flood you with my betrayal. I pray that it won't take too long for this pain to be replaced, that you'll float to wakefulness from dreams of us to the realization that those dreams are true and our future is God's promise to us. Our grace.

I love you and I hope that this path ahead of us will not be too terrible to tread. I feel that as long as we go down it hand and hand that we will emerge triumphant, strong and so much in love. Indeed this seems to already be the case.

I love you Truly,

Scarlett